LOVELY SHOPPING TIPS: Emergency Gifts

Stirrings "Cocktail Connoisseur" Gift Set, perfect "emergency gift" for surprise holiday guests

If you have a teensy bit of room in your budget, I highly recommend purchasing a few small "emergency" gifts. Keep them on hand in case an extra person shows up at Christmas, or to fill in holes in your gift list on Christmas Eve when you are panicking.

Every year it seems like we have someone unexpected at Christmas - someone's boyfriend, girlfriend, or an elderly friend of the family. Rather than have them sit empty handed to watch us open gifts, we always try to make sure we have some things already wrapped to give away. We quickly sneak into the other room to write the person's name on the To part of the label, and "Santa" on the From part.

I also use my Emergency Gift supplies as hostess gifts when I travel or go to dinner parties.

If you end up not needing the gifts, you can store them in your gift closet for future emergencies. Or buy things you know you'll enjoy yourself - candles, soaps, cookies, etcetera.

I don't usually give books as emergency gifts because it's too hard to tailor a book to a person I don't know well. It's hard to come up with a reason to give a complete stranger a coffee table book on Alaskan sunsets, or the newest murder mystery - Maybe they've already bought it, or don't like mysteries. Maybe the subject of the book might offend them and I wouldn't know it.

Great emergency gifts include attractively wrapped chocolates (just hope the person isn't a diabetic); gift certificates to local restaurants, spas and movie theaters (for people who live nearby); blank writing journals; attractive soft gloves (perhaps from Target); candles; nicely scented soaps; gourmet jams; a scenic calendar. A nicely packaged bag of coffee or box of tea might be nice.

I always have a couple of moderately priced $6-$9 Christmas ornaments from Crate and Barrel or Pier 1 Imports wrapped and ready to go, too. If they don't get given away, I'll unwrap them and store them to enjoy on my own tree next year.

It could be a good idea to have a $15-$20 bottle of wine on hand too just in case.

LOVELY WINTER PROJECTS: Journaling

Jane Austen blank writing journal, at Amazon

LOVELY WINTER PROJECTS: Journaling

I like to constantly do projects so that my life does not only focus around work and housekeeping, and not just around fun things like friends and family. I like to do some things just for myself, too. In summer it's difficult to drag myself in from the outdoors, so I do most of my projects during cold dark winter nights.

Enjoy writing? One possible project you might enjoy this winter is journaling.

Journaling can take many forms - diaries, letters, writing exercises, fan fiction, recording dreams, and travelogues.

It can serve many purposes, as well - spiritual discovery, memoir development, writing improvement, grief recovery, healing, catharsis, life planning, record of cooking experiments, creative stimulation, or confession.

Your journal can be in an old notebook, a beautiful hardbound leather blank book, a blank journal you've creatively decorated, or it can even be on Livejournal or Blogger.

Or just write using your word processor or the old fashioned way: a paper college ruled notebook.

I am very bad at remembering to journal every day. I tried techniques like keeping a hardbound journal next to the bed or in my purse. Neither worked, so now I've given myself permission to write only when I feel like it. I've found if I have a fun project to write about, I'm extremely more likely to actually write in one of my journals than if I just sit around waiting for inspiration.

If you don't want to record the banalities of your daily life, diary-style, try something more creative. For example:

• Write a fake diary pretending to be a celebrity, then write about your fictional experiences on the set of a nonexistent movie.
  

• Write an "Edward and Bella" Twilight fan fiction story, starring your teenage niece, and send it to her. She'll be embarrassed, maybe; but she also might get a kick out of it.
  

• Develop a travelogue to somewhere you've never been (Use the Web for research to make it more accurate). Write a journal from the viewpoint of a time traveler, sharing your wild experiences as you visit different eras. You could write a journal as though you're an employee at a fancy hotel in Paris (even though you really aren't) making up stories about all the weird rich people that stay there overnight.
  

• Write a pretend letter from one fictional character to another. Or from one historical figure to another. It's fun to mix and match people who couldn't actually have known each other: Have Neil Armstrong write to H.G. Wells, for example.
  

• Write a diary from the perspective of Snow White's stepmother, or Cinderella's stepsister, if you like fairy tales.
  

The idea isn't to lie to or defraud your readers (if you choose to share your journal). Rather, it's to have a little fun and be creative. I never understand why people get so riled up over fake celebrity weblogs - they're obviously works of fiction and fan fiction. If you're writing a diary pretending to be Paris Hilton, you're not trying to trick anyone, you're essentially writing a series of fictional short stories in the first person perspective.

If you enjoy writing, make time for yourself to write in your journal as often as you feel like it. Treat that time as sacred, and make it known to family members how important it is to you to have that fifteen to twenty minutes to yourself uninterrupted. You might have to actually remove yourself from the house once a week to a coffee shop to get your writing time in, if you can arrange your absence.

Related Links:

15 Places to Find Writing Prompts Online (Nouveau Writer)

Scribetime's Journal Writing Prompts

Women's Memoirs.com

Leisurely Tuesday Evening

Cosmopolitan Cocktail Candy, at Amazon - Most of my friends like Cosmos, so this year I'll grab a few of these to use as stocking stuffers

QUICK THINGS TO DO TODAY:

- Check over your Thanksgiving grocery shopping list, if needed. I shop early for my canned goods, frozen items and baking supplies. This lets me avoid crowded, stressful stores in the week leading up to Thanksgiving. Except for when I need to go get fresh produce and dairy.

- When's the last time you defragged or backed up your computer?

- Is your anti-virus software up to date?

- If you enjoy incense or candles, when's the last time you burned some?

- Need to do any laundry? Pet bedding? Towels? Clothes for everybody to wear this week?

TODAY'S PROJECT: Do Something Relaxing and Fun With Your Family

What's something you really enjoy doing that you don't usually have time for during the workweek? If you manage to be home tonight with your family members (or roommates or friends), spend a few hours doing fun things with your family tonight.

Go to a movie (even if it means keeping the kids up a bit past bedtime on a schoolnight), watch silly or fluffy TV, settle into a comfy chair with a book, make Lego structures or bake cookies with your kids, scrapbook or knit, or take your dog on an extra long walk. If you enjoy shopping, this evening is a great chance to make huge inroads on your Christmas shopping list without the stress of crowded December malls.

I'm going to spend my time tonight home with my cousins, making a special manicotti meal with fried mozzarella sticks as an appetizer. I'll also attempt to bake Italian breadsticks from scratch today. I'm also baking muffins to send home with my cousin - his household of bachelor boys will probably really appreciate the goodie basket.

A New Week Begins

What I'm drinking today: Twinings Blackcurrant Breeze Tea (available at Amazon.com)

QUICK THINGS TO DO TODAY:

- Is it time to get your snow tires put on your car? I have an appointment to do this tomorrow. I need to have snow tires on before winter because my grandparents live a snowy 3 hour drive away. Both fall ill regularly and need visitors.

- Make meal plans for the week; create grocery shopping list

- Need to wrap and label any Christmas gifts tonight?

TODAY'S PROJECT: Overall Cleaning

Tonight is my "stay at home and be cozy night." I want to make time for some baking, magazine reading, and TV watching for relaxation. But first, I'm doing a quick once-over on almost every room of the house. This way I can have fun going out to dinner on Wednesday and Friday this week and not worry about any housecleaning projects.

I'll be vacuuming, laundering and swapping out tablecloths in my dining room and breakfast nook, emptying trash cans, sanitizing toilets and bathroom sinks, sweeping the entryway and porch, mopping the kitchen and breakfast nook floor, and decluttering living rooms.

I feel like I spent all weekend cleaning and recleaning the kitchen, so it's fortunately one of the two rooms of the house I don't need to do something about (the recently-cleaned guest room being the other).

LOVELY BLOGS: The Well Appointed House

This blog belongs to an online home decor store. I expected it to be full of blog posts just merely enticing people to buy products from the store, but it's actually chock full of interior decoration knowledge. Recent posts have included info about the quatrefoil architectural element, celebrity inspired interiors, wedding registry gift suggestions, and some fashion related posts. I appreciate that there's actual ideas, tips and inspiration here besides just commercial messages.

http://wellappointedhouse.blogspot.com/

LOVELY TV: Food Network Challenge: Sesame Street Cakes

My nephews love looking at cake decorating books with me. Tonight we'll enjoy watching the Food Network "Sesame Street Cakes" challenge. I'll bake mini cupcakes with the boys so we won't get too hungry while watching the show! I'll also have toys on standby in case they get bored with the show halfway through.

Sesame Street Cakes, at Food Network

LOVELY LINKS FOR TODAY:

Escape Your Family for the Holidays (CNN)

Fig Jam and Goat Cheese Crostini (CHOW)

If It's Fall, it Must Be Time to Mulch (Toledo Blade)

Is Copper Right For Your Kitchen? (Mlive.com)

A Journey Through the Travel Channel (Slate)

Make Your Own Mozzarella (CHOW)

A Movable Feast: Moving Restaurant from Field to Field (Hemispheres)

Nigella Lawson's Winter Food Advice: Indulge Yourself, Darling (NPR)

Thanksgiving Appetizers (Food Network)

Three Perfect Days: New Orleans (Hemispheres)

10 Tricks to a Trouble-Free Thanksgiving (Real Simple)

Gearing Up For Holiday Guests

Trader Joe's new Apple Cinnamon Bread and Muffin Mix. I'll use this to bake muffins for my guests next weekend

Are you ready to host holiday guests? Even if you don't have any plans to have family or friends visit, you might want to see if your guest room (or pull-out sofa) is ready for company. You never know who might drop in, or if someone will get stranded from weather-related problems. Or someone might need to stay the night after over-imbibing at your cocktail party).

QUICK THINGS TO DO TODAY:

- Look over the three remaining weeks of the month. Need to make any doctor, dentist or vet appointments? Need a haircut, dye touchup, trim or manicure? Who has a birthday coming up? Do you have a couple of quiet nights at home booked in and solidly enforced (meaning if someone calls to invite you somewhere on that night, you firmly say no, sorry that's my down time?)

- Anybody in your household need to schedule a haircut so they look nice for Thanksgiving? Are you taking holiday pictures? If you take them now, you avoid the crowds and rush, and you might be able to deliver them in person on Thanksgiving!

- Maintenance clean your refrigerator - choose either one shelf, one bin, or two door shelves. Remove all the food, inspect it for Best By date and freshness, toss out anything you won't eat. Wipe down, sanitize and dry the shelves, then replace food in an organized manner.

TODAY'S PROJECT: Guest Room (Again)

Today I'm thoroughly cleaning my guest room again. I cleaned it last week, but it's already been used. Time to freshen it up for the next set of guests!

Last week I removed all the furniture from the room, laundered the bedding so it wasn't dusty, vacuumed, dusted baseboards and closet doors, washed the windows and sill, and wiped down the lamps. I still need to launder the dusty curtains today.

Is there room in the closet for guests to hang their clothing? Right now I need to remove some toys that need to be sorted and make their way to the toybox I store in my garage.

I'm putting a L'Occitane "Winter ForesT" candle (and nearby matches) on top of the bookcase (high enough that visiting toddlers can't reach), and making sure there's up-to-date bottled water in the room for guests to drink. I have two lamps, an alarm clock, and a box of Kleenex within easy reach of the bed. Just like last year, I discovered that one of my pillows is not really in fresh unstained shape, so I will throw it out and replace it with a $15 pillow during my next Costco shopping trip this week. It's not too crucial of a purchase, though, since I keep a variety of four pillows on the bed for someone to choose between.

Have you ever slept overnight in your guest room so you know if the bed is comfy, the blankets adequate, the pillows restful, the lighting good for reading in bed, and the temperature in the room ideal?

Are you hiding clutter in your guest room that needs to be sorted, sold, given away, thrown away or stored elsewhere in your home? I recently stored my holiday dishes in a bin in my storage area in the garage, rather than under the guest bed.

Right before guests actually arrive (perhaps as soon as next weekend) I'll spritz the room with just a tiny bit of pumpkin-scented room spray, put fresh flowers in the room, and perhaps a small box of Godiva tea cookies on the nightstand.

LOVELY LINKS FOR TODAY:

Spiced Pumpkin and Bourbon Beignets (French Revolution Blog)

Lovely Holiday Shopping Tips: Food Gifts

Ghiradelli Peppermint Hot Cocoa, at Amazon

LOVELY SHOPPING TIPS FOR TODAY: Food Gifts

Food is a popular gift to give for the holidays, especially during this year's recession. For people you don't know well, it can be an "easy out" in a gift-giving dilemma. You can get really creative when it comes to food gifts, or play it safe with universally loved foods like chocolate and cookies.

Careful thought should be put into food gifts, however. Pay special attention to allergies, diabetes, religious convictions, vegetarianism/veganism, caffeine or alcohol avoidance, and special diets. When in doubt, find out. Ask the person directly, or talk to their spouse or other close friends.

Food gifts can be as simple as a prettily wrapped box of tea, a box of chocolates, a fruit basket sent from a store, or a boxed set of little gourmet jams. (No fruitcakes please!) Or they can be more complicated, like a gift basket you create yourself and fill with various treats. You might bake homemade cookies to send as gifts, or a cake.

If you are going to purchase food at a store, be careful and thoughtful about your selections. At a dinner party one time, I asked my six guests to name the best food gift they'd ever gotten. Hardly anyone could remember a great food gift, but everyone had a story about horrible food they'd been given. It was generally agreed that Hickory Farms food is nasty, and poor quality chocolates from drugstores are to be avoided (Brachs, Whitman, etc).

If you can't afford to give quality chocolate, perhaps give something else instead, like a basket of apples, Trader Joes chocolate covered fruits, or a bag of gourmet cookies.

If you're buying food at a non-grocery store, think about how long the food has been on the shelf. How fresh are those cookies, breadsticks, bread dipping oils, or gourmet crackers?

Some things to keep in mind when giving food gifts are your recipient's allergies (nuts? wheat? dairy?), religious beliefs (Kosher foods, certain types of meats, etc) and preferences (don't give meat or anything with animal products in it to a vegetarian). Is the person diabetic? (Avoid sugar, bread, and potatoes). Is the person on a diet? Perhaps fattening foods like chocolates aren't the best gift for someone currently trying to lose weight. (Etiquette dictates that we never give low-calorie or diet foods to people trying to lose weight).

Wine and liquor gifts pose important considerations, as well - does the person drink? Are they an alcoholic, or do they live with one? Are they trying to cut down on their drinking (or calories)? Is alcohol against their religion? Are they underage? Do you know for sure if they enjoy alcohol or not?

Try not to send regional foods to someone living in the region that food comes from. I wouldn't send pineapples to someone living in Hawaii; nor would I send a gift box of Washington apples to my Washington relatives. But do utilize your own region's foods when creating or ordering gifts for people. I definitely would send Washington apples to my friend in New York.

If you're creating a gift basket with things that need to be baked, like scone mixes, muffin mixes, cookies or cakes, think about the person you are giving the basket to. Do they like to bake? Are they too busy? Will your gifts sit on the shelf for years? Are they a professional chef, so they probably know how to make their own scones without needing a box mix? Are they currently having budget problems, so they maybe can't afford the eggs and oil that your cornbread mix requires?

For upscale gourmet food gifts, I recommend Harry & David, Dean & Deluca, Williams-Sonoma, or Crate & Barrel.

If you're lucky enough to have a Trader Joe's in your neighborhood, you'll have an easy time finding interesting wines, inexpensive quality chocolate, great cookies and crackers, and other nice things to make gift baskets with.

Food gift ideas:

* - Pick up an inexpensive basket at a crafts store, line it with a pretty placemat or linen cloth, and fill it with fresh oranges (or avocados, which are an expensive generous gift). I also like the idea of bringing a large basket of lemons or limes as a hostess gift if you go to a dinner party. It will look lovely in the hostess's kitchen, and will come in handy if she's serving alcoholic mixed drinks.

* - Make a "tea party" basket, with several attractively packaged varieties of tea. Give the tea bag kind, unless you plan on including a tea strainer, in which case you can give loose leaf teas. Include a few pretty packages of cookies and crackers, and honey sticks if you can find them. If you can afford it, Godiva Chocolates sells really pretty tea biscuits in their stores, and wonderful hot chocolate mixes. If your recipient likes to cook, include scone mix. You can also include lemon curd, sold in gourmet grocery stores, Williams-Sonoma, Sur La Table, and places like Cost Plus Imports. I wouldn't include a teapot or "tea for one" or teacup, since most people already have plenty of those cluttering up their cupboards.

* - Select interesting olive oils, olives, balsamic vinaigrettes, and include crackers to dip into them. (If you can give the gift in person, include a loaf of fresh baked bread). However, I don't recommend the kind of oil that comes in a decorative container with vegetables inside it. You typically find these for really cheap at bed-and-bath stores, or Ross, Marshall's and Tuesday Morning discount stores. Bed-and-bath stores are not grocery stores and should not be in the habit of selling food. These oils are old and gross and I feel they generally make a tacky gift.

* - If you have someone on your gift list who adores hot chocolate, give them a hot chocolate sampler basket. Fill it with a tempting variety of brands. Throw in a raspberry flavored hot chocolate, and see if you can find a white chocolate mix as well just for fun. Again, I'd skip giving them a mug to go with this gift, as everybody already owns plenty of mugs.

* - Are you a good cook? Bake cookies, pies, cakes, breads or other treats. If it's for someone in the same town, make cheesecakes or other perishables.

* - Create a "winter picnic" basket. If you don't want to spend the money on a wicker picnic basket, or suspect your recipient already owns one, just pack everything up in an inexpensive basket from Michael's. Include small bottles of white wine or champagne; hot chocolate mix; gourmet crackers; a jar of olives; cookies; soup mix; interesting pasta and jar of sauce. Cost Plus World Market, if you have one near you, has a wonderful section of little tiny picnic food items.

* - Fruit baskets (I recommend Harry & David's) are an excellent choice for a boss, co-worker or client. They're inoffensive, fresh, healthy and not fattening.

* - For people living in the same town as you, consider a fresh produce basket. Really this is only a good idea for people who actually cook at home; people who eat many meals out might not get to eat the produce you picked out so carefully before it rots. This is an especially good gift for the elderly or people with a new baby who can't get out to the store easily. Go to your local organic produce store (such as Whole Foods) or a gourmet market. Stock a large basket with wintertime treats including artichokes, hothouse tomatoes, fresh garlic cloves, avocados, fresh basil, fresh mint, baby carrots and red potatoes. Arrange them attractively in the basket so it doesn't just look like you threw a bunch of vegetables in a box. You'll be dropping this gift off in person, so shop for it the night before or the day you'll give it to them. If you're seeing them on Christmas, this won't work since grocery stores are closed; but this might be something nice you could drop off early some afternoon during the holiday week.

* - Send cookies from Eleni's. They're fabulously decorated and come in an attractive box or tin as well. Be sure to order early for timely delivery.

* - Avoid foods that might be thought of as weird. Unless you know the person specifically likes sushi, I wouldn't send them a bento box full of nori and sushi making supplies (obviously you wouldn't arrange to have raw fish shipped to their house anyways) and those Japanese candies make great gifts but taste really different from other candies consumed in America, so I wouldn't send them to just anybody. Skip the strange pickled items in jars, too!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

The Lovely Living Christmas Holiday Gift Philosophy

Cranberry Mold, at Williams-Sonoma - a great under $20 gift for the hostess in your life.

THE LOVELY LIVING GIFTING PHILOSOPHY:

* - Usefulness - I like to give useful gifts, practical things my recipient will use often, or use all up and get rid of.

(However, I want to give amusing or interesting useful gifts, not boring things, so no socks, unless they are decorated humorously in an inside joke I share with the recipient).

I don't like to give things that will clutter up someone's house or that they'll feel obligated to keep around. No knick-knacks; no souvenirs; nothing plastic if I can help it. Nothing that will sit around contributing to their house's clutter. Nothing that their grandchildren will have to sell off in a yard sale 40 years from now.

I give food, teas, coffees, candles, perfumes, cosmetics, blankets/throws, good quality attractive gloves, liquors, and chocolates. Books that can be read and given away, calendars, stationery that can get used up, DVDs that can be watched and shared. I don't give dishes (might not match their tastes or existing dishes), mugs with clever sayings on them (cute, but too cluttery), or household decor (might not be to their liking).

* - Restraint - Every child on my shopping list has an abundance of relatives giving them gifts this and every holiday. They're truly lucky. Instead of lavishing tons of gifts on my niece and nephews, I've been careful every year to just give them ONE toy and ONE book. It increases the risk of me striking out by getting a gift they maybe aren't excited about, and I'm often tempted to just throw in one or two little gifts to be sure I hit something they like. I don't give them clothes as they are old enough to pick out their own, and their parents buy them enough lovely thinsg to wear anyway. Instead of blowing lots of dollars on each child, I'll spend just a little, and donate more to charity instead.

I'm also giving just one gift to each adult relative, since we all are blessed with comfort and more than enough material goods. We all struggle with clutter and what to do with things we no longer use; I don't want to add to that. (I haven't had much luck talking my family into a No Gifts for Adults policy!)

Because I'm generous with them in other ways (or at least I try to be), my relatives will know that I'm not *cheap* for giving them just one gift. Because I try to be thoughtful with my purchase, and because I invest so much time in picking out gorgeous wrapping paper and ribbons to adorn the packages with, they are generally delighted with the gift or at least with the spirit in which it was given.

* - Personal Taste - Is your potential gift something that not everybody might enjoy? Are you trying to select a perfume or candle fragrance for someone? What if you're buying Amber Musk and your recipient actually can't stand the scent of musk and has to smile and pretend to spare your feelings? Are you buying big chunky heavy bracelets for someone who normally doesn't wear jewelry or wears delicate small unshowy pieces? Buying chai tea for someone who doesn't like cinnamon or ginger? Buying Earl Grey tea or coffee for someone who prefers not to drink caffeine?

Spend some time thinking and maybe asking your friend/relative questions before buying scented items or jewelry or other gifts that depend on personal taste.

* - Thoughtfulness - Some gifts unintentionally insult the recipient or hurt their feelings. My brother, meaning well, gave me anti-acne face wash for Christmas once. It was an expensive salon line, and very useful, but it reminded me of my ongoing battle with my skin, and let me know that other people definitely noticed my bad skin. It was hard to not cry when I opened it, though I knew he was just trying to help. (My skin eventually cleared up, with or without the face wash, whew).

Tread carefully when giving gifts related to the body. Self-help books, diet related items, and hygiene items can be very touchy. Just because someone mentioned to you in confidence that they are on a diet, doesn't mean they want to recieve a diet tips book for Christmas, nor a bag of sugar free cookies.

* - Well Researched - Are you buying a theme gift for someone? Do they still like that animal, sport, celebrity, food/wine, or decor style that you think and assume they like? 30 years ago my grandmother mentioned she liked chickens. Every year since then she gets chicken-themed gifts from relatives who would otherwise sweat and wrack their brains trying to figure out what to get her. She gets chicken dishes, vases, egg cups, rooster potholders, chicken towels, calendars, framed artwork, and more figurines than she has room to display. Does she actually like chickens still, or has she had enough but is too polite to tell us?

Similarly, because I happen to own two cats, family members feel the need to gift me with cat-decorated umbrellas, cat kitchen towels, cat mugs, and cat calendars. And (not to sound ungrateful for kind gifts generously bestowed on me) two years ago I mentioned on accident that I liked peacocks. Now you can guess what sort of kitchen linens, Christmas ornaments, calendars and dishes I've been gifted with. They're lovely, but I'm wondering where I will put all this stuff in five years if this keeps up!

My best friend's husband really, really enjoys wine and learning about wine. I see him enjoy wine and forward wine-related links every week, so I'm pretty sure he still likes it. But I can't possibly know enough to give him a bottle of wine he hasn't seen before, and I shouldn't get him a wine-themed calendar just because he enjoys drinking wine. Nor does he need any more wine bottle charms, wine bottle gift bags, wine stoppers, corkscrews, wine glasses, or books on learning to appreciate wine. I have to tread gently if I am going to approach giving him any wine-related gift. I should be more creative and think of something else along a different theme to try to give him.

Make sure your recipient still likes and enjoys what you think they like and enjoy.

* - Appropriateness - I don't buy Bratz dolls for anyone's children. Besides the fact I personally don't like them, they are a touchy subject with many parents. (Something about their bratty attitudes, scanty clothing and pouty little faces).

I also check carefully before buying Barbies for a little girl - her mom might not care for the message Barbie is sometimes thought to send. I check before sending certain types of books and movies to my very Christian sister-in-law's children, respecting her religious beliefs. And I would never dream of sending a Christmas or Santa themed book, movie, or CD to my Jewish friends' little son.

Also, check carefully on the age of the child you are giving a particular toy to. Is it too babyish for them? Does it have too many small pieces for a young toddler? Are you giving a stuffed animal to a child over the age of five? It might be too babyish, plus they probably already have dozens of stuffed animals by this point in their life.

Is the movie you are giving inappropriate or too scary for a child that young? Is your 12 year old niece really allowed to wear makeup yet, or should you ask permission of her parents before giving her that lipstick palette?

Are you giving a craft set to a child, and if so, are their parents too tired at the end of the day to help them do the craft? Is the toy huge (difficult to store), noisy or will it create a mess in the home? Does it require a ton of assembly work, so the child's parents may have a difficult task of making time to put it together?

Is the item faddish? Avoid fads, especially fads from last year. Just because your niece or nephew loves Harry Potter books, doesn't mean they need Harry Potter Tshirts (Probably can't wear them to school as they're out of style now), Harry Potter school supplies (Again out of style, and the school supply purchase time is in August not December) or Harry Potter calendars (A risky gift since probably everybody who knows the child will get them Harry Potter stuff out of desperation).

Right now many teenage girls are obsessed with the "Twilight" series of books. The second movie is about to come out. If you have a 13-17 year old niece or cousin who you know is into this series, you may well be tempted to get her something "Twilight" themed. Think it through though, and maybe check with her parents. Is she allowed to read the vampire series? Is it ok if she wears a vampire tshirt to school? You shouldn't get her the book, because she probably already has it. You could get her a Twilight calendar - but maybe all her other relatives are thinking the same thing. Try to be a little more creative. The soundtrack? A tshirt based on graphics from the film? A reference guide to the world of Twilight? Something that isn't Twilight related at all, in case 15 other relatives all give her Twilight stuff?

And lastly on appropriateness, are you giving chocolate or candy to a diabetic? Tinned meat to a vegetarian? Pork to a Muslim or Jewish person? Alcohol to a minor or a pregnant woman? Make sure your gift fits in with your recipient's lifestyle and choices.

* - Giving Joy, or Taking It Away? - If you are blessed with a large Christmas shopping budget, and you rush out and buy the latest greatest trendies $150 or $200 toy for your nephew, are you taking away the joy his own parents would have had in giving him such a fantastic, huge, expensive gift? If you don't check with them first, they may have already gotten him the same gift, and they'll have to lug it to the store after Christmas to return one of them.

And if the child's parents can't afford that expensive showy gift, are your family dynamics such that they'll just be happy their son got the gift, or will they be sad (or resentful) that they weren't the ones able to provide it for their child? If your niece loves American Girl, and you rush out and buy her ALL the books in the new line and the newest doll, what's left for her own mother or grandmother to gift her with? If your sister has a special American Girl collecting hobby with her daughter, are you taking away some of your sister's joy and special hobby, by jumping in and claiming part of the fun of the hobby for yourself? I try to think about these things and make my own special hobby with my niece (We are into Little House on the Prairie and soon moving to Little Women).

* The Gift of Your Time * - Consider giving your time instead of a material gift. Knit, sew, make, bake or craft something for someone. Or present them with a home printed "coupon" that you intend to honor if they give it back to you. Offer a Friday evening babysitting their children (if you have a personal relationship with their kids), offer to mow their lawn two times next summer, offer to come over and make dinner sometime and clean up afterwards, or other nice things you can do for a friend or family member (that doesn't involve massages! hehe).

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!